Coping at Christmas when you are trying to conceive

For many, Christmas is a joyous season filled with celebrations. However, for those navigating fertility challenges, Christmas time can bring a mix of emotions. The season’s emphasis on family, children, and togetherness can amplify feelings of grief, frustration, or loneliness for those longing to start or grow their own families. Interactions with friends who have children or family gatherings often include conversations about babies and future plans, which can feel like painful reminders of fertility struggles.

To help navigate this time of year, here are some strategies to protect your emotional well-being and make the most of the festive season.

Embrace the Power of “No”

Not every social event is mandatory, especially if you suspect it might be emotionally taxing. It’s okay to decline invitations that might be overwhelming. For example, suggest catching up over coffee instead of attending a family gathering at someone’s home if you find this easier. If declining isn’t possible, consider confiding in a trusted family or friend who will be there who can provide support and help redirect conversations if needed.

Prepare Your Responses

Take time to think and plan how you’d like to handle questions about family planning. Preparing responses in advance can empower you and ease the discomfort of being caught off guard.

“So, when do you plan to have a baby?”

Having a baby is a very private and personal event, and you may not want to discuss it publicly with others; however, when catching up with old friends, this may be innocently asked whilst they try to get an update since they saw you last. It can be useful to prepare an answer for this, so you are not put on the spot. While it can be difficult to hear suggestions, understanding that these often stem from a place of care might help. A simple, “Thanks for the suggestion, but we’re following our doctor’s guidance” can close the topic respectfully.

You are not obligated to discuss your fertility journey if it makes you uncomfortable. It’s perfectly acceptable to change the subject or say, “I’d rather not talk about that right now. How’s work going for you?” Steering the conversation elsewhere can help maintain your comfort.

Have Compassion for Yourself

Christmas is a special time to connect with the people who matter most, no matter what your family looks like. Some people may feel guilty for being excited about Christmas and catching up with friends. For many, the fertility journey can be long and tiring so it is important to practice self-care and remind yourself that you are allowed to enjoy yourself and time with your loved ones. Use this time to recharge and focus on yourself.